Growing Up with Movies: The Things We (Foolishly) Imitated

We’ve all read or heard of some awful, tragic event that happened when someone was inspired to reenact a scene they saw in a movie. Maybe we’re all mimics at heart, and although we see movie moments imitated mostly by kids, none of us are immune. We might not do it, but who hasn’t thought about yelling “You can’t handle the truth!” at someone or telling someone “You’re gonna need a bigger boat” when a situation gets overwhelming? The instances from my own experience have thankfully not been tragic but were at times just plain dumb. In some cases, I observed other peoples’ lapses in common sense from a safe distance. In some cases...

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Verbal imitation is usually somewhat safe, depending on who’s listening and how believable you sound. I’ve already written about an actor I imitated when I was a kid, but sometimes people who are no longer kids get into the act. My friend Ben and I were well into adulthood at the time of this event, both of us band directors. Yes, we were young men in our 20s put in charge of a room (or sometimes a football field) full of young people with instruments in their hands. Ben and I were on a plane about to take off for a band convention in Chicago. This was Ben’s very first flight and he was way beyond excited. Ben was also a big fan of the movie Airplane! (1980), so this could’ve gone in many different directions….

Like the other passengers waiting for the flight crew to make their final checks, Ben and I carried on a conversation, but Ben’s level of excitement was reaching biblical proportions. When he began his next sentence, everyone on the plane was still talking, so I was the only person who heard Ben say, “Okay, everybody…” but one microsecond later, the entire plane went utterly silent so that everyone heard Ben say in a loud voice,

“Assume crash positions!”

The entire. Plane. Stared. It was as if Ben had said “America sucks,” or “Screw you all and your ancestors,” or something even more offensive. I guess Ben picked the wrong week to give up movie quotes in public places.

The first movie I remember imitating with any potential for serious injury was Billy Jack (1971). I knew nothing about martial arts (and most of my friends didn’t, either) so when we saw this dude in a blue jean jacket and goofy black hat whacking the crud out of people, we took notice.

The movie contained one scene my friends and I quoted and imitated endlessly. Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin) is being intimidated by corrupt Sheriff Stuart Posner (Bert Freed). Posner confronts Billy Jack while they are surrounded by Posner’s men. Here’s the exchange:

Posner: You really think those Green Beret karate tricks are gonna help you against all these boys?

Billy Jack: Well, it doesn’t look to me like I really have any choice now, does it?

Posner: [laughing] That’s right, you don’t.

Billy Jack: You know what I think I’m gonna do, then? Just for the hell of it?

Posner: Tell me.

Billy Jack: I’m gonna take this right foot, and I’m gonna whop you on that side of your face…[points to Posner’s right cheek] ...and you wanna know something? There’s not a damn thing you’re gonna be able to do about it.

Posner: Really?

Billy Jack: Really.

Then Billy Jack proceeds to do just what he’d said, swinging his foot to smash into Posner’s right cheek, sending the sheriff to the ground. (We all cheered.)

When we got tired of just quoting the line (we particularly loved saying "damn"), my friend Bill and I just had to try the kick. We took turns, but neither could raise our legs high enough to hit the other’s upper body, much less his face. We whacked each other in the legs and hips until we figured out we looked like a couple of doofuses and would have a tough time explaining our bruises, so we gave up before one or both of us ended up in the hospital.

Another movie that came out that same year was Evel Knievel, about the life of the famous motorcycle daredevil. My buddies and I felt this was motion picture artistry at its finest, cinema at the highest possible level. While we knew we could never jump a motorcycle over a line of cars at the Astrodome or Caesars Palace, we could probably jump a bicycle over a large mud puddle or a pile of cinder blocks. How hard could it be?

We didn’t get very far. My friend Mark and I had bikes, but he lived in an apartment complex and didn’t have a garage or access to large pieces of wood or anything else that could be used as a ramp. Unsure of what we could utilize, we scoured the complex for anything that might help our pursuit of greatness (if not neighborhood immortality).

While we searched for materials for a ramp, an older (and much larger) kid – with whom we had not discussed our plans of daredevil glory – suddenly emerged from a distant part of the complex, zooming forward on his bike, proclaiming, “I’m Evel Knievel!” The kid didn’t have a ramp, but he'd built up some serious speed. He barreled straight ahead, tried to pop a wheelie, failed miserably, and tossed himself into a large bush. Mark and I looked at each other and decided daredevil glory was probably not in our future, so we went inside his apartment and watched TV.

When I was 10 or 11, after I had conquered my fears of the diving board at our local pool, I began to glance up at the massively tall “high dive” diving board. With each glance at the sky, I couldn’t help thinking, “The fall will probably kill you.” I eventually conquered the high dive as well, but even today I sometimes hear Paul Newman’s words from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid when I’m faced with any dangerous (or dangerous in my mind) height.

I can't remember any scenes I wanted to imitate from television shows or movies on TV. They weren’t big enough. My friends and I only reenacted moments from movies we saw in theaters. We saw these images on big screens, making the actors and their stunts larger than life. We wanted to be larger than life, which was part of the allure. Life itself is even grander than the movie screen, and if we could do something amazing (and live to tell about it), how cool would that be? But at some point, you stop and realize you need an audience, which is probably a good thing. Someone should be there to tell you, "Dude, that's a dumbass idea," but there’s always the chance someone else would be there to say, “Dude, that’s a great idea! Go ahead and start that fire so you can leap over it!” Thankfully, people with way more sense than me were usually on hand.

So please share some of the things you imitated from movies or TV, foolish or otherwise. The comments are open.